This is the place I'll put stuff that should at least give you a chuckle.
Proverbs 17:22
22A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries
the bones.
Recent additions indicated by **
| "New Speed Trap" |  |
As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her
husband's ranch near Snowflake. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and
asked her husband never to touch it. For fifty years Uncle Jack left the box
alone, until Aunt Edna was old and dying.
One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and
thought it might hold something important. Opening it, he found two doilies and
$82,500 in cash. He took the box to her and asked about the contents. "My
mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained. "She told
me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you."
Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice.
"What's the $82,500 for?" he asked.
"Oh, that's the money I made selling the doilies."
| Some
of us (especially Southerners) are pretty skeptical of horoscopes, and it
has become obvious that our present astrological signs have served their
purpose and that we should get rid of them. When out and about, one can
see bulls, and once in a great while, even a ram. Up the street, there may
be some twins. The rest of these things are just too obscure. You only see crabs on
vacation. There are no lions or scorpions; not many
archers and no dang water bearers. What we need are SOUTHERN things. |
|
| OKRA
(Dec 22 - Jan 20) |
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies. |
| CHITLIN
(Jan 21 - Feb 19) |
Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he's motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra. |
| BOLL
WEEVIL
(Feb 20 - Mar 20) |
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it. |
| MOON
PIE
(Mar 21 - April 20) |
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not. |
| POSSUM
(APR 21 - May 21) |
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won't work and you may find your problems actually running you over. |
| CRAWFISH
(May 22 - June 21) |
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend to be not particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads. |
| COLLARDS
(June 22 - July 23) |
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the "melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache. |
| CATFISH
(July 24 - Aug 23) |
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies. |
| GRITS
(Aug 24 - Sept 23) |
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well. |
| BOILED
PEANUTS
(Sept 24 - Oct 23) |
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best - your friends and loved ones - may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you. |
| BUTTER
BEAN
(October 24 - Nov 22) |
Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies. |
| ARMADILLO
(Nov 23 - Dec 21) |
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another somewhat kinky, mating possibility. |
Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
What do people in China call their good plates?
What do you call a male ladybug?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on
the door?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they
make the whole plane out of that stuff?
If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?
If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what
happens?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment, but
when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
If you throw a cat out of the house, does it become kitty litter?
All those who believe in psycho kinesis raise my hand.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.
Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow.
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
"Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes."
My socks DO match. They're the same thickness.
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
What's another word for Thesaurus?
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
I had amnesia once or twice.
I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."
My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?
The sky already fell. Now what?
I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests.
If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Smoking cures weight problems...eventually...
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?"
I Xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.
There aren't enough days in the weekend.
The sky is falling...no, I'm tipping over backwards.
Is "tired old cliche" one?
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.
I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.
I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum.
I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale."
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
I went to a fancy french restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?"
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today."
I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded."
I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
It's a fine night to have an evening.
Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
What are imitation rhinestones?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, "Cut it out."
I got up one morning, couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!
I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four."
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God the Father as the judge.
They set themselves before their computers and begin. They are given the task, and began to type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan indignantly protests, "I have nothing! I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command and the screen comes to life with a vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.
He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?"
God chuckles, "Satan, when are you going to learn ...Jesus saves!"
Answer link at the end of the questions.
a. The maker doesn't want it, the buyer doesn't use it, and the user doesn't see it. What is it?
b. A child is born in Boston, Mass. to parents who were both born in Boston, Mass. The child is not a US citizen. How is this possible?
c. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on earth?
d. Clara Clatter was born on Dec 27, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
e. Captain Frank and some of the boys were exchanging old war stories. Art Bragg offered one about how his grandfather led a battalion against a German division during WWI. Through brilliant maneuvers he defeated them and captured valuable territory. After the battle he was presented with a sword bearing the inscription "To Capt Bragg for Bravery, Daring, and Leadership, WWI, from the Men of Battalion 8." Capt Frank looked at Art and said, "You really don't expect anyone to believe that, do you?" What's wrong with the story?
f. What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or politics, agree is between heaven and earth?
g. In what year did Christmas and New Years fall in the same year?
h. A woman from NY married ten different men from that city, yet she did not break any laws. None of these men died and she never divorced. How was this possible.
i. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?
j. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
k. A taxi driver was called to take a group of passengers to the train station. The station is normally an hour away but with traffic being extra heavy it took a full hour and a half. On the return trip the traffic was still as heavy and yet it took only 90 minutes. Why?
l. How could you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to make one word? Note: there is only ONE correct answer.
m. Even if they are starving, natives living in the Arctic will never eat a penguin's egg. Why not?
n. Which is correct to say: "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white" ?
o. In Okmulgee, OK, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
p. There were an electrician and a plumber waiting in line for admission to the "International Home Show". One of them was the father of the other's son. How could this be possible?
q. After the new Canon Law that took effect on Nov 27, 1983, would a Roman Catholic man be allowed to marry his widow's sister?
1. "I'll take Shakespeare for a thousand, Alex."
2. Duct tape won't fix that.
3. We don't keep firearms in this house.
4. You can't feed that to the dog.
5. I thought Graceland was tacky.
6. Wrasslin's fake!
7. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
8. We're vegetarians.
9. Who's Richard Petty.
10. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
11. Trim the fat off that steak.
12. The tires on that truck are too big.
13. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
14. Little Debbie Snack Cakes have too many calories.
15. Elvis who?
When computing, whatever happens behave as though you meant it to happen.
When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, its probably obsolete.
The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
When the going gets tough, upgrade.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
To err is human, to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.
He who laughs last probably made a backup.
If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.
A complex system that does not work is invariably found to come from a system that worked just fine.
The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.
A burglar got into a house one night. Shining his flashlight on the floor in the dark, he heard a voice saying, "Jesus is watching you." He looked around nervously, shook his head, and kept looking for valuables. He again heard, "Jesus is watching you." This time, he shone his light all over, and it rested on a parrot.
He asked, "Did you say that?"
The parrot admitted that it had. "I'm just trying to warn you, that's all."
The burglar said, "Warn me, huh? Who are you? What's your name?"
"Moses."
"Well, what kind of stupid people would name a parrot 'Moses'?"
The bird answered, "I don't know; I guess the same folks who would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus'."
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six," in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of six?"
His wife extremely irritated by her husband's lack of discretion and respect shouts back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?"
The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights w/numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out.
The father said to his son, "Go get your Mother."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are camping in the desert, set up their tent, and are asleep. Some hours later, The Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend. "Tonto, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Tonto replies, "Me see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" asked The Lone Ranger.
Tonto ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What it tell you, Kemo Sabi?"
The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Tonto, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy and said quietly, "Good morning Alex."
"Good morning Pastor," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque. "Pastor McGhee, what is this?" Alex asked.
"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the men and women who have died in the service."
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Alex's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which one, the 9:00 or the 10:30 service?"
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology" says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well" says the balloonist, "Everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."
The man below says, "You must work in business."
"I do" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
God made
Adam bit
Noah arked
Abraham split
Jacob fooled
Joseph ruled
Bush talked
Moses balked
Pharaoh plagued
People walked
Sea divided
Tablets guided
Promise landed
Saul freaked
David peeked
Prophets warned
Jesus born
God walked
Love talked
Anger crucified
Hope died
Love arose
Spirit flamed
Word spread
God remained
| 486 | The average IQ needed to understand a PC. |
| State-of-the-art | Any computer you can't afford. |
| Obsolete | Any computer you own. |
| Microsecond | The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete. |
| G3 | Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago." |
| Syntax Error | Walking into a computer store and saying "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object." |
| Hard Drive | The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error. |
| Keyboard | The standard way to generate computer errors. |
| Mouse | An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate. |
| Floppy | The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer. |
| Portable Computer | A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips. |
| Disk Crash | A typical computer response to any critical deadline. |
| Power User | Anyone who can format a disk from DOS. |
| System Update | A quick method of trashing ALL of your software. |
Did Jesus use a modem,
At the Sermon on the Mount?
Did He ever try a broadcast fax,
To send His message out?
Did the disciples carry beepers,
As they went about their route?
Did Jesus use a modem,
At the Sermon on the Mount?
Did Paul use a Laptop,
With lots of RAM and ROM?
Were the Epistles posted on a Website,
At Paul.Rome.Com?
Did the man from Macedonia,
Send an E-mail saying "Come"?
Did Paul use a Laptop,
With lots of RAM and ROM?
Did Moses use a joystick,
At the parting of the Sea?
And a Satellite Guidance Tracking System,
To show him where to be?
Did he write the law on tablets,
Or are they really on CD?
Did Moses us a joystick,
At the parting of the Sea?
Did Jesus really die for us,
One day upon a tree?
Or was it just a Hologram,
Or Technical Wizardry?
Can you download the Live Action Video Clip,
To play on your PC?
Did Jesus really die for us,
One day upon a tree?
Have the wonders of this modern age,
Made you question what is true?
How a single man, in a simple time,
Could offer life anew?
How a sinless life, a cruel death,
Then a glorious life again,
Could offer more to a desperate world,
Than all the inventions of man?
If in your life, the voice of God,
Is sometimes hard to hear.
With all the other voices calling,
His doesn't touch your ear.
Then set aside your laptop and modem,
And all your fancy gear.
And open your Bible, open your heart,
And let your Father draw near.
-- Author Unknown
Hanging in the hallway at the High School are the
basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the
center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball
identifying the year -- "62-63," "63-64,"
"64-65," etc.
One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos.
Turning to me, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams
always lost by one point?"
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one
question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of
topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor
picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the
board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove
that this chair does not exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious
fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting
to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class
however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group
wondered how he could have gotten an "A" when he had
barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words:
"What chair?"
a. The maker doesn't want it, the buyer doesn't use it, and the user doesn't see it. What is it?
A coffin.
b. A child is born in Boston, Mass. to parents who were both born in Boston, Mass. The child is not a US citizen. How is this possible?
The child was born before 1776.
c. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on earth?
Mt Everest - it just hadn't been discovered.
d. Clara Clatter was born on Dec 27, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
Clara lives in the Southern Hemisphere.
e. Captain Frank and some of the boys were exchanging old war stories. Art Bragg offered one about how his grandfather led a battalion against a German division during WWI. Through brilliant maneuvers he defeated them and captured valuable territory. After the battle he was presented with a sword bearing the inscription "To Capt Bragg for Bravery, Daring, and Leadership, WWI, from the Men of Battalion 8." Capt Frank looked at Art and said, "You really don't expect anyone to believe that, do you?" What's wrong with the story?
WWI wasn't called WWI until WWII.
f. What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or politics, agree is between heaven and earth?
The word "and".
g. In what year did Christmas and New Years fall in the same year?
They fall in the same year every year - New Years Day arrives very early in the year and Christmas arrives very late the same year.
h. A woman from NY married ten different men from that city, yet she did not break any laws. None of these men died and she never divorced. How was this possible?
The lady was a justice of the peace.
i. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?
One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar bills are worth one dollar more than one thousand nine hundred and eighty nine. ($1990 versus $1989)
j. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
Only once, then you are subtracting it from twenty.
k. A taxi driver was called to take a group of passengers to the train station. The station is normally an hour away but with traffic being extra heavy it took a full hour and a half. On the return trip the traffic was still as heavy and yet it took only 90 minutes. Why?
An hour and a half is 90 minutes!
l. How could you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to make one word? Note: there is only ONE correct answer.
"one word".
m. Even if they are starving, natives living in the Arctic will never eat a penguin's egg. Why not?
Penguins live in the Antarctic.
n. Which is correct to say: "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white" ?
Neither - the yolk of the egg is yellow.
o. In Okmulgee, OK, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
You have to take a picture of a man with a camera, not with a wooden leg.
p. There were an electrician and a plumber waiting in line for admission to the "International Home Show". One of them was the father of the other's son. How could this be possible?
They were husband and wife.
q. After the new Canon Law that took effect on Nov 27, 1983, would a Roman Catholic man be allowed to marry his widow's sister?
He can't because he's dead!